He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
