Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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