Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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