ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
