wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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