you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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