do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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