beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
