After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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