i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
