Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
