so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
