we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
God, I missed his penis.
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