i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
