I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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