i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
