I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
