pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
