He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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