I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
