At least make sure they are 18
Why
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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