Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
