I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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