If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I looked at my own cervix.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Even my vagina gasped.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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