I accidentally burped into my bong.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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