Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
