I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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