On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
