you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
