Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
