It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
