the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
