You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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