apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
either way he was missing a nipple.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
