that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
