i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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