He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
