I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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