Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
