My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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