I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
