I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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