if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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