i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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