Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
