You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
