my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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