Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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