True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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