Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
